Losers

Losers

When a loser loses, they blame everyone but themselves for the reasons that they failed.

When a winner loses, they work themselves harder until they win again.

My daughter’s first painting

My daughter’s first painting…my 18 month daughter was given a board, a brush and 4 small bottles of acrylic and paints better than I do at 36 years old.

My daughter’s first painting…my 18 month daughter was given a board, a brush and 4 small bottles of acrylic and paints better than I do at 36 years old.

Happy Mother’s Day

I thank my mother and my wife
for both my happiness,
and my life.
Happy Mother’s Day to my favorite ladies.

I thank my mother and my wife

for both my happiness,

and my life.

Happy Mother’s Day to my favorite ladies.

Stay at Home Dads

The Good Men Project and SAHDs

If you haven’t seen the good men project you should google it. It often has interesting articles but like any publication, it does attempt to stir the pot of controversy. Nothing wrong with that. It is about creating conversations and raising awareness.

So long as what’s important doesn’t get lost in and amongst the dissenting opinions, I consider that valuable conversation.

They just did a piece on stay at home dads.

http://goodmenproject.com/good-is-good/are-stay-at-home-dads-macho

My thoughts?

The roles in our family constantly shift to deal with the pressures of modern living. I’m not usually a stay at home dad, but I have played that role often enough to know how to do it in the blink of a lost paycheck.

While I enjoy some of Tom and Laura’s points in the article, the truth is that macho is an over-rated and rapidly antiquating word that has NOTHING to do with whether one is a stay at home dad or not. It simply isn’t as important a word or quality as it once was. You want to know a more important quality in today’s day and age? How about “effective.”

Would you rather have a macho boss or co-worker? Or an effective one?

Bringing the subject up like this simply stirs the pot (and controversy) on rapidly-dying stereotypes of “marital roles.”

Nowadays, every relationship has to accurately assess the needs of the relationship and examine the resources in determining who in that relationship is best suited for supplying these needs and adjust as needed to ensure the family unit survives as best as possible. A family that can do that will usually thrive even under extremely adverse conditions.

If you look at the flip-side of it, belittling the role of a stay at home dad is also a subtly negative comment on stay at home mothers. That somehow it isn’t “real work.”

Women who trivialize stay at home dads either have never raised children or for some bizarre reason would place having a “macho” partner above having one who was:

1. Honorable
2. Courageous
3. Dependable
4. Loving
(And there are plenty of “macho” men who also have these qualities)

I think the greatest worry or controversy can come about when other men, ignorant men, trivialize men who are the primary caregivers as opposed to primary breadwinners. And the solution is simple. Stick them in a house with a newborn child (or two) of their own for two weeks with a mother who is off at a “job” all day and see how that man views it after two weeks. In 99% of all cases, humility will have lead to wisdom in recognizing that it is simply about doing what needs to be done and it is WORK.

Exhausting, often thankless, work that not only do more men do on an increasingly greater basis, but that so many mothers do day in and day out that almost all of society takes for granted.

The bottom line: The days of having the strongest hunter for a family to survive are over. We are in the new age where the most EFFECTIVE families survive.

It is an age that I, for one prefer.

Does it get any better than being a parent with a beautiful child?

Until last night…

Until last night I just thought it couldn’t get better.

Don’t get me wrong. Parenthood is exhausting. It constantly pushes you to spend money you don’t have. It brings you to the breaking point on a daily/weekly basis. Your sex life…what? Your sleep patterns…don’t worry about that because there will be nothing to pattern anymore. Your eardrums will bleed from the baby screaming in your ear. And on and on.

But it all pales in comparison to the sheer joy of being called “papa” or seeing your kid’s face light up as she sprints towards you when you walk into your home. These and a million other little things keep life in balance in the otherwise exhausting and often seemingly thankless job of being a parent.

But sometimes when your baby is sleeping in your arms you say to yourself “Does it get better than this?”

From what I got told last night, apparently so…stay tuned…

 

UPDATED: Our second child is on the way!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Parenthood begins

Parenthood begins

With the unshakable belief that you have the most beautiful child in the world. And then you go to a park and see just how many beautiful children there are and then you realize there is hope for the human race and our future.

Bathroom Doors

Bathroom Doors

Every time my 1 year old daughter finds the bathroom door open, a roll of toilet paper dies horribly…

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