The Problem with most Parenting Sites on the web (June 8th 2010)
Any man who has surfed the internet searching and reading through parenting sites knows that they have one BIG flaw. A lot of if not MOST of the content on the site isn’t for parents, it is for moms.
Stuff for dads is either directed towards the stay at home dad or is frankly just a whole bunch of psycho-babble about the emotional problems of fathers. There are a couple good sites specifically oriented towards fathers with some good stuff on there, but often they fall into this trap as well in terms of delineating “this is mom work” and “this is dad work” and I don’t know how they reach their conclusions on whose is what.
I guess factoring in freedom of speech, I shouldn’t really have anything against that, I just find it frustrating and sometimes worse.
In the last week I’ve probably browsed through about 250 articles across 14 different parenting sites and they pretty much fell into the above categories. Some of it is really good content. A lot of it omits the father entirely.
Its no wonder families are falling apart everywhere. Some of the stuff that gets said is downright sickening.
You don’t train a carpenter by having them get in touch with his emotions about wood. You make them start by moving wood. Then you give ‘em a hand saw and a plank of wood. Then a tape measure and show them how to use it. And so on. You know. Real work, learning and practice.
You don’t make an athlete by having him or her “feel good” about themselves. They learn the techniques. They do the laps, they stretch, they push with every fiber of their being to squeeze out that extra tenth of a second on the 500m freestyle. You know. Hard work, persistence.
You don’t become an incredible photographer without knowing what the basics of your craft are. And for that matter, by not keeping up to speed on what is current, what is useful and what is garbage in relation to photography. You know, being willing to learn, exercise and test your mental capacities.
The same goes for anything in life. And that includes parenting which, as a note for all parenting websites out there: INCLUDES FATHERS!!!!
None of us are born great dads.
Sorry it just isn’t true. No one is born great at anything without tons of practice and work to back it up. They may have talent, but without guidance, practice, persistence and bucketloads of sweat, talent just burns bright and fast and then burns out altogether.
Dads may seem to start out great but when they continually hit things they don’t know how to do, they either buckle down and learn fast or they burn out.
So for you new dads out there, I hope that in the coming months I can help pool together some of the essential skills for you to study and learn. I hope to be able to help as many of you as possible become great dads.
With learning, practice and work you can be.
And for all the other great dads out there who have already been around the block and learned to walk the walk and talk the talk can you share your hard-earned knowledge with us?
Share it with the parenting sites and tell them to take down the psychobabble and put up what you have to say about real things that dads run into. And when you do, send me a link so I can learn as well.
aka The Clueless Father