Fussy Children and Temper Tantrums

Fussy Children and Temper Tantrums

To tell u the truth instead of learning from my baby I am getting more scared of the way she is growing up.  She became very active and she doesn’t let me do a thing. I have to hold her or be with her in the same room. I’ve heard that too much stimulation spoils them. What do u think?

People keep telling me to leave her to fuss then she will get use to it but I cant.

 

First off, relax. Take a deep breath. Nothing to be scared about. You’ve never had a kid before so being anxious as things change is natural. Trust me, by the time your baby is a year and a half, you’ll be a pro at all things infant and toddler and ready for another child with full confidence that you can handle anything they throw at you, literally.

But, you have to keep learning as they grow. Don’t accept other people’s conclusions unless they seem like the right one’s FOR YOU and YOUR CHILD.

BABY CRYING, FUSSING, TANTRUMS, ETC…

In terms of baby fussing, you have to start learning the difference between fussing for a reason or just fussing because they see other kids doing the same to get what they want.

You say that you’ve been told a child receiving too much stimulation can spoil them, I think you are trying to say attention or affection.

A child can never receive too much affection and no it won’t spoil them. That’s like saying you could put out a fire by throwing gas on it.

Your daughter being almost 6 months old can’t really do anything by herself. So leaving her alone in her room is kind of like a grown being strapped to a bed with nothing to do. You get pretty upset after a bit as well. To solve this my wife and I got a small baby carrier that we could move around the house that had hanging toys from the top of it so wherever we were in the house the baby could see us but also be amused by the little toys and reach and grab them and stuff like this.

http://www.gracobaby.com/Catalog/Pages/landingPage.aspx?catid=10:10436||1

The Graco Bouncer is the one we bought. That way you can type on the computer, surf the net, clean or just chill out and the baby still has eye contact with you and can amuse herself.

But, as the child gets older you will start to recognize when they are crying because they WANT something (candy or a toy) as opposed to when they NEED something (healthy food, warm blanket).

The first category is called a “temper tantrum” the second category is called a “valid complaint.”

I don’t think your daughter (6 months right?) is old enough to be having tantrums. So you just need to assume it’s a valid complaint at this point. But once she hits about a year to a year and a half…get ready. It’s highly probable that she’ll be rolling on the ground screaming unless you give them what they want.

I never do giver her the object of the tantrum with my daughter. It just teaches them “CRYING = GET WHAT YOU WANT” What I do instead is pick her up and I walk around the house with her and have her touch things or I point things out to her to distract her from whatever it was she was throwing a tantrum over. Usually after a couple minutes she is chilled out and just wants to play.

Works like a charm every single time. I’ll do a video on it next chance I get.

Two very important things to avoid as your child gets older to help with this are:

1.     Do not try to over control them. This doesn’t mean let them smash up the house, it means treat them as adults and they will start acting like adults. Don’t force them to sit in your lap if they don’t want to, don’t punish them if they break their OWN things. Meaning make it clear to them that when you give them something it is theirs and they can do what they want with it. This will eventually teach them to take good care of their things. To do otherwise is to make them feel like they never own anything. How do you feel when someone at work tries to overcontrol you. Like you want to punch them right? Who’s to say a kid doesn’t feel the same way. Probably a lot of childhood rebellion stems from that.

2.     Don’t stop them from trying to help. Your baby will start trying to help from almost day 1, beginning with just trying to make you smile. Recognize these efforts no matter how clumsy they may be. As they get older, and I am talking 1 year old here, have them help do little things around the house, like bring dry laundry to you, or bring a small written message to dad. My daughter is 1 and a half and brings me my shoes when she sees I’m not wearing them and helps me put them on, she helps mom put away the groceries, she likes to try and fold the laundry, she brings things back and forth between mom and I and lots of other little things. I think this is very healthy. Sure she dropped stuff at first or didn’t put it back in the right place but we just lovingly encouraged her and she blossomed and I am positive she will continue to do so.

Hope that helps!

best,

Dare

www.cluelessfather.com

dsw@cluelessfather.com

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Three Facts About Fatherhood

0-1. WELCOME TO THE CLUELESS FATHER

If being a GREAT parent is important to you, then you have time to learn what I cover in these videos. You don’t have to learn them from me if you don’t want to, they may be better laid out in more detail elsewhere, in fact I am sure they are but I can definitely get you started in the right direction.

Because what I cover are things that you better know and be prepared to do no matter where or who you learn them from.

In this first video, I will cover three simple facts about what you can expect is going to change in life if you are becoming a father for the first time.

01:00 – Fact 1 about fatherhood
02:59 – Fact 2 about fatherhood
03:59 – Fact 3 about fatherhood

Love it? Hate it? Like it? Know how to do it better? Just looking for advice? Care to comment? Want to talk about dad stuff? contact me: dsw@cluelessfather.com

Or if you want the female side of things talk to my wife. rosew@cluelessfather.com

Why you might want to check out Cluessfather Videos

0-0. WHY YOU MIGHT WANT TO CHECK OUT THE CLUELESS FATHER

Now that I’ve put out the main videos (on youtube, I am going to start posting them here) showing the key skills covering the time period from pregnancy through birth through the first 90 days, I have had the good fortune to start interacting online with people looking at these videos and realized that probably making a statement as to why YOU should be a part of the Clueless Father movement.

It may not be for you. But if you are interested in being not a good dad, not a great dad but a Superhero of a dad, you might want to hear what I have to say.

And mom’s, if you really want dad involved and a big team player, you might want to give this a listen as well.

A special thanks to Grace, stirfry2471 and my favorite ninja kitty trainer way out there in Germany amongst several others for bringing these points to my attention and taking the time to comment on them to me.

Love it? Hate it? Like it? Know how to do it better? Just looking for advice? Care to comment? Want to talk about dad stuff? contact me: dsw@cluelessfather.com

Or if you want the female side of things talk to my wife. rosew@cluelessfather.com