My baby only wants milk, HELP!

My baby only wants milk! Help!

My oldest daughter, now 3, was on solid foods and loving it by the time she was 6 1/2 months old. And she’s a good eater. She doesn’t demand sugar too much, she eats veggies and she loves steak as much as or more than her daddy (that’s me). So I really didn’t get what the big deal was about parents who had a problem getting their kids to eat but I was happy that she was fine.

Then our second daughter arrived and by the end of 6 months she refused to put anything in her mouth other than milk. The real big downsides of this are:

1. The baby wakes up more often during the night for feeding (3-5 times is not unusual).

2. You constantly worry about proper development, are they getting enough nutrition?

3. Washing bottles and preparing baby formula constantly isn’t really what I’d call a hobby I enjoy.

But by the time our daughter was 11 months old, a pediatrician we consulted with said that she was out the bottom on the baby development chart (below the 5th percentile in height and weight) and at this point I really started worrying. As an aside, my wife is petite, so I always knew there was the possibility of our daughters being petite as well, but that didn’t stop me from worrying. Anyways, the pediatrician gave us various techniques to essentially force our daughter to eat. None of them worked and all of them made me feel a little guilty because she was obviously beyond miserable.

We then left Mexico to visit some family in LA and I went and saw the doctor who had taken care of me when I was a kid. She told me all about her youngest son who had been a “milk baby” and the great frustration she had to go through as well as the worries on development because just milk isn’t enough by itself. So she started researching and testing various concoctions until she found one that worked great for her kid and after several months he went up to the 100th percentile on his growth chart and has stayed there for the last 3 years. Her theory was that it wasn’t really the taste as much as the texture of the food that the kids had a problem with.

Now as a note, we already complemented the breastfeeding with barley formula (http://youtu.be/feQ6FcZRgFg) because we don’t like using the powdered baby formula products. So now we were looking adding another supplemental/complementary milk formula to this. I rounded up the products and started making this every morning right when she wanted her “wake-up” bottle and at first she started drinking it and then spit it out. I kept trying until I finally found that with the banana out of the mix, she drank it no problem.

I’ve been giving this to her now for almost 5 months and she has now gone up to the 68th percentile on the height chart so I am relieved and happy. The nightly awakenings are still exhausting but my wife and I deal with it as a team so it’s bearable.

The formula she gave us was: (NOTE: CHECK WITH YOUR OWN DOCTOR FOR THE EXACT QUANTITIES AND INGREDIENTS FOR YOUR KID!!!)

12 ounces of organic vitamin d milk, or whatever milk your baby uses.

1 1/2 Tablespoons of vanilla flavored egg protein powder (I use 1/3 scoop of the protein powder I bought which means basically 8 grams of protein. You have to figure out the proportion based off the protein powder you use and how much your baby should be getting. I know there are dozens of others out there such as whey proteins, but I haven’t checked into any of those yet)

1 tablespoon of Kidsafe Supreme Superfood. This is basically powderized vegetables, fruits and other good stuff with all the amino acids, vitamins, iron, etc… intact. Pretty expensive but worth it.

1 teaspoon of organic flax seed oil

1/2 teaspoon blackstrap molasses for all the B-complex vitamins. This is a strong flavored ingredient, the doctor recommended a full teaspoon but until I brought it down to a 1/2 teaspoon or about 14 drops, my daughter wouldn’t drink it.

Fill up a 9 ounce bottle. If your baby won’t drink the milk because it is slightly chilly, then warm the milk before you blend it. But I found my daughter preferred it slightly cool. I then usually have about 3-4 ounces leftover and I drink that and then head out with them for daycare.

Hope that helps.

Best,

T.C.F.

 

 

 

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Baby’s first real accident and how to prevent them

A day at the park

I know there is a fine balance between underprotection and overprotection but when you land on the wrong side of the equation it really guts you as a parent.

July 2011, my wife and I are eating at a restaurant with a little kids area where our daughter is playing with her nanny. I started getting a queasy feeling in my stomach and told my wife that we should go.

She agreed as soon as she finished eating we would split.

About two minutes later I hear my daughter shriek in pain. I run over and see her running towards me with blood pouring down her chin. I pick her up and hold her as we flag down a taxi and head to the hospital which fortunately is only a few blocks way.

Some idiot had left the cap off one of those big umbrella things that go over the tables and my daughter tripped and hit her chin right on the edge of it.

No stitches needed, but she’s got a decent cut on her chin which is going to be a scar for a bit to remind me of not being slack.

I feel terrible about it but what did I learn from this?

When leaving your child anywhere to play, first check everything for potential injuries and eliminate all those which could potentially REALLY hurt them. The little bumps and falls are inevitable, but the really bad ones are completely avoidable.

Two weeks later the cut has full healed but yes, she has a nice little scar on her chin. The doc says it is going to go away. But until then it will certainly serve as a reminder to me.

Until next time. Hope you have a great day.

Best,

Dare

aka

“The Clueless Father”

http://www.cluelessfather.com

Putting your baby on a schedule

Putting your baby on a schedule

Now from your experience does putting your baby to a schedule help in the future?

If it does what kind of schedules worked for u and does it stay the same as she grows up? I have only a bedtime schedule where she sleeps around 9:30 to 10. Do u think that’s a good time

I do it on her demands so I think am doing the best I can just wanna do a much better job.

 

I’m sure you are an amazing mother doing the best you can and always trying to do better. No child could ask for better than that!

BABY SCHEDULES…

Schedules are a must with children. Otherwise your life will be in continuous chaos. It also gives your child the beginning principles of discipline and order which is important in development.

As a note on this, I believe in feeding your child when they are hungry and letting them sleep when they are tired although if I daughter was getting ready to fall asleep around 7 pm we would usually play with her to keep her up until about 9 so that she then had a nice long sleep instead of waking up at midnight.

A general schedule that worked for us at the start up until she was 4 months old was:

9am feed the baby.

10-12pm go out with baby in the stroller so they get out of the house at least once a day

12pm feed the baby

1pm – 3pm baby nap if she could. Household chores during this time.

3pm feed the baby.

4pm – 7pm dad plays with the baby including helping the baby take steps, crawl, etc… to start getting the baby tired and hungry and give mom a much needed break.

7pm – 730pm wash the baby and get her ready for bed.

730 pm – 830pm feed the baby.

8:30 – 9:00 lullabyes

9:00 baby to sleep.

9:00 pm – 6am feed the baby and put them back to sleep until they won’t sleep anymore which usually is between 6 and 7am.

Once our daughter hit 6 months the feeding got easier because solids came into the equation and less milk/formula was needed and also she was starting to crawl and amuse herself which freed up more of our time.

6:30 am wake up and formula

7am – 9am play time.

930 – 12 stroll and outside time (includes coffee shop and mall time for mom)

12:30 solid food feeding.

1230 – 3pm nap time if they will (otherwise just let them fall asleep whenever they do)

3pm formula and/or solid food feeding.

4pm – 7pm dad play time.

7pm good solid food dinner

7:30 bath time and ready for bed.

8:30 final bottle of formula for the day

9:00 lullabyes

9:30 bedtime.

Hope that helps!

best,

Dare

www.cluelessfather.com

dsw@cluelessfather.com

Fussy Children and Temper Tantrums

Fussy Children and Temper Tantrums

To tell u the truth instead of learning from my baby I am getting more scared of the way she is growing up.  She became very active and she doesn’t let me do a thing. I have to hold her or be with her in the same room. I’ve heard that too much stimulation spoils them. What do u think?

People keep telling me to leave her to fuss then she will get use to it but I cant.

 

First off, relax. Take a deep breath. Nothing to be scared about. You’ve never had a kid before so being anxious as things change is natural. Trust me, by the time your baby is a year and a half, you’ll be a pro at all things infant and toddler and ready for another child with full confidence that you can handle anything they throw at you, literally.

But, you have to keep learning as they grow. Don’t accept other people’s conclusions unless they seem like the right one’s FOR YOU and YOUR CHILD.

BABY CRYING, FUSSING, TANTRUMS, ETC…

In terms of baby fussing, you have to start learning the difference between fussing for a reason or just fussing because they see other kids doing the same to get what they want.

You say that you’ve been told a child receiving too much stimulation can spoil them, I think you are trying to say attention or affection.

A child can never receive too much affection and no it won’t spoil them. That’s like saying you could put out a fire by throwing gas on it.

Your daughter being almost 6 months old can’t really do anything by herself. So leaving her alone in her room is kind of like a grown being strapped to a bed with nothing to do. You get pretty upset after a bit as well. To solve this my wife and I got a small baby carrier that we could move around the house that had hanging toys from the top of it so wherever we were in the house the baby could see us but also be amused by the little toys and reach and grab them and stuff like this.

http://www.gracobaby.com/Catalog/Pages/landingPage.aspx?catid=10:10436||1

The Graco Bouncer is the one we bought. That way you can type on the computer, surf the net, clean or just chill out and the baby still has eye contact with you and can amuse herself.

But, as the child gets older you will start to recognize when they are crying because they WANT something (candy or a toy) as opposed to when they NEED something (healthy food, warm blanket).

The first category is called a “temper tantrum” the second category is called a “valid complaint.”

I don’t think your daughter (6 months right?) is old enough to be having tantrums. So you just need to assume it’s a valid complaint at this point. But once she hits about a year to a year and a half…get ready. It’s highly probable that she’ll be rolling on the ground screaming unless you give them what they want.

I never do giver her the object of the tantrum with my daughter. It just teaches them “CRYING = GET WHAT YOU WANT” What I do instead is pick her up and I walk around the house with her and have her touch things or I point things out to her to distract her from whatever it was she was throwing a tantrum over. Usually after a couple minutes she is chilled out and just wants to play.

Works like a charm every single time. I’ll do a video on it next chance I get.

Two very important things to avoid as your child gets older to help with this are:

1.     Do not try to over control them. This doesn’t mean let them smash up the house, it means treat them as adults and they will start acting like adults. Don’t force them to sit in your lap if they don’t want to, don’t punish them if they break their OWN things. Meaning make it clear to them that when you give them something it is theirs and they can do what they want with it. This will eventually teach them to take good care of their things. To do otherwise is to make them feel like they never own anything. How do you feel when someone at work tries to overcontrol you. Like you want to punch them right? Who’s to say a kid doesn’t feel the same way. Probably a lot of childhood rebellion stems from that.

2.     Don’t stop them from trying to help. Your baby will start trying to help from almost day 1, beginning with just trying to make you smile. Recognize these efforts no matter how clumsy they may be. As they get older, and I am talking 1 year old here, have them help do little things around the house, like bring dry laundry to you, or bring a small written message to dad. My daughter is 1 and a half and brings me my shoes when she sees I’m not wearing them and helps me put them on, she helps mom put away the groceries, she likes to try and fold the laundry, she brings things back and forth between mom and I and lots of other little things. I think this is very healthy. Sure she dropped stuff at first or didn’t put it back in the right place but we just lovingly encouraged her and she blossomed and I am positive she will continue to do so.

Hope that helps!

best,

Dare

www.cluelessfather.com

dsw@cluelessfather.com

When to start feeding baby solids…

When to start feeding baby solids…

hello again dare,

u r helping me alot thank u…funny thing is that when we became desperate my husband did the same thing with her. He sat in front of her and he said the same thing u told to ur baby about sleeping. I laughed at him when he was done and now he is laughing at me b/c am doing it too! And I hope it works…and dont worry I saw your videos I just want more datails if there is something u left out in the vids„,Anyway we r doing our best from ur help.

Though now that she is 4 moths old when is the best time to start solid food. I saw in your vid u said that starting with veg but are there other options like cereals etc…

Just want your opinion on that am sure i have so many questions I send u little by little so u can give me good advice.

btw does your wife participate in the cluelessfather? Just want some of her opinions also u know like mother to mother works good too!

Anyways tnx again.

btw my real name is ekram,

 

 


Dear Ekram,

That’s a beautiful name. My full name is Darius which is Persian, but it was always shortened to Dare as I was constantly doing wild things that people dared me to do. I’ve never met another white American with that name though and I got teased a lot over it when I was a kid. I’m proud of it now though as I hope you are with yours!

Your husband has earned his laugh! He sounds like a pretty smart guy!

My wife does help out with clueless fathers, mothers and other family members. You can always write to my wife at “rosew@cluelessfather.com”, she likes helping other new parents out as well. It was something we sort of vowed we would help other people with as it had been a very scary time for both of us and we wish to help others avoid being scared so they can focus on enjoying as much as possible their child.

In terms of leaving things out of the videos, of course! There are a bazillion and one things that I left out of the videos. They were just sort of meant to handle the basic things to prepare for parenthood that I used to get asked about on a daily basis.

Trust me. By the time you make it through a year and a half of being a mom, you’ll have all the basics down cold and just be learning from your children every day with the understanding that the basics always stay the same, you just change it up a little as they get older and figure out new ways of testing you. 😀

In terms of when do you start feeding a baby solid food there are dozens of variables on this. You are going the exclusive breastfeeding route at the moment and while many mothers will have different takes on this question, I believe that most pediatricians agree that towards the end of 5 months/beginning of 6 months you want to start introducing solids and weaning them off breastfeeding or as a supplement to it.

Vegetables are a main recommendation but there are also a number of different cereals that are possible such as barley, oatmeal and various other types in powdered or semi-powdered form which can be mixed with breastmilk.

The thing you want to watch for is not training your child to enjoy “sweet” things to start. Otherwise they’ll be harder to introduce to vegetables and similar foods later on. It’s certainly fine that they eat fruits. Just mix it up so they learn that there are different foods and not to lock in on just one. Liquified meats (chicken, beef, etc…) can be introduced usually about a month after they are stably adjusting to the introduction of solids. Realize there are lots of opinions on this. I’m sure 20 readers of this will have 20 different opinions in terms of timing.

IT’S VERY IMPORTANT to only introduce a very small portion of solid foods at the time. You might only start with half a spoonful the first day. Make sure you check for any reactions/allergies to the foods and obviously discontinue feeding them that type of food.

Once you start to introduce solids, the baby will rapidly start to eat more and more of it. Before the month is out they’ll probably be eating 6 ounces a day of solids in addition to whatever breastmilk or formula they are drinking.

Realize that PROTEIN is very important for a baby/child at this stage. Stay away from foods and baby formulas that are just going to load up the baby with carbohydrates and turn the baby unhealthily fat. Again that’s why we do barley formula and probably will until our children reach about 30 months.

But when you do decide to introduce solid foods (and by solids realize I am talking about LIQUIFIED SOLID FOODS, i.e. not a solid carrot but a paste of the carrot) and if you have the luxury of time, I highly recommend going with home made organic foods rather than off the shelf Gerbers and similar. In some parts of the world they have pre-made organic baby foods which are great if you can get them, but they don’t store long.

For more advanced and “certified” information, if you have access to a library there is a book from an author called Adelle Davis “Let’s Eat Right to have healthy children.” It’s a great book for really great information on how to feed children.

Hope that helps! I’ll try to answer the questions as fast as you send them to me but also to give you complete answers.

Have a great day!

Dare

dsw@cluelessfather.com

www.cluelessfather.com

AMAZING ONE YEAR OLD BABY GIRL PLAYS KE$HA ON IPAD!!!!!!

AMAZING ONE YEAR OLD BABY GIRL PLAYS KE$HA ON IPAD!!!!!!

Disclaimer:

I am so not a fan of this new generation of so called “music”

(PS: No offense intended to Ke$ha, I know she has fans. I’m sure she’d find this cute as well.)

BABY’S FIRST PLAY

BABY’S FIRST PLAY

Our daughter’s first play. If you don’t smile at least once…you aren’t human.

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