To breastfeed or not to breastfeed. That seems to be the question… Well not really, but there are so many sites and blogs that put so much stress on HAVING TO BREASTFEED, that I think the most important point about it gets lost in all the noise which is ensuring your child is WELL FED and WELL NOURISHED. Not always the same thing.
I do agree with people lambasting certain companies who deliberately try and replace breastfeeding with their formulas.
But I also have a personal beef with people who make such a big deal out of it that it gets to the point of discriminating against women who don’t or can’t breastfeed.
Why am I beefed?
I will never forget how hard my wife took it in the hospital when she couldn’t breastfeed our daughter. She was crushed and kept saying what a “bad mother” she was. And I was like WHAT????? My wife is an AWESOME mother. She took perfect care of herself and the baby during the entire pregnancy, did everything to have everything perfect for when the baby arrived, endured with total courage and no complaint a c-section which is a MAJOR surgical procedure. And suddenly she is a “bad mother” because breastmilk was not forthcoming.
It took me a bit to calm her down and assure her that SHE WAS NOT A BAD MOTHER. We had a beautiful and amazing miracle of a daughter that she had brought into this world despite all the pains, etc…
Yet from all the “social pressure” that was how she felt…”like a bad mother.”
Finally after a few days breastmilk came. Not a lot. Not enough to feed the baby properly. But anytime she could, she valiently fed our daughter trying all sorts of foodthings and massage things then finally pumps, etc… to try and provide our daughter with sufficient food from breastmilk.
After a few weeks, the milk supply cut out and we had to find an alternate solution as opposed to letting our daughter starve. Because in the end what is the important thing? That you breastfeed your child? Or that your child is actually well-nourished with sufficient food and protein to grow properly?
I totally agree with powder formulas being garbage for the most part. That’s why we found an alternate food supply that worked well that wasn’t a powdered formula. I don’t have to name names on the powders, you probably know what I am talking about.
But I am sorry to all naysayers out there, but I reserve the right to politely disagree with you on the matter of mothers who can’t breastfeed simply “not trying hard enough.”
I think that is just judgmental when you have no clue of the circumstances of those mothers. And I think some of the breastfeeding fanatics should take it down a notch or two. Do I think women should breastfeed if they have an option to not to? Of course I do. That seems to be what nature intended after all.
But if that isn’t providing enough nourishment for the child then I think the parents should definitely speak to their pediatrician to figure out what to do to ensure their child is well nourished so that the child can be healthy and not starving.
I apologize if I ruffle any feathers, but I think it is inconsiderate of the men and women who climb up on a soapbox and basically state that “if you can’t or don’t breastfeed your child, then you are a bad mother and you are not trying hard enough.”
I think the real point is for parents to ensure their children are well fed and nourished. Breastfeeding? Amen. Can’t breastfeed? Don’t let your kid starve because you are “doing the right thing.”
I also realize that having a well-nourished child is just a dream for parents in some parts of the world whether they breastfeed or not, and I feel worst of all for people in that situation.
But I don’t think they are bad parents or say things to make them feel that way, I think they just need help and instead of standing on a soapbox about it, make a donation to a charity that DOES something about it.
Aka The Clueless Father
June 10th, 2010