The Worry of SIDS (Part 1)
I am still gathering my thoughts and talking to other parents on the subject of SIDS before I blog about that, but I had to make a quick comment that last night my wife and I slept for almost 8 1/2 hours straight.
I woke up as I normally do when waking to find sunshine spilling through the curtains: with a certain slight sense of unease. There was not a single sound coming from the baby room.
After 8 1/2 hours? That’s a rarity for our 5 month old daughter.
I try not to think about such things, but there is no fighting the queasiness that hits me when I do. Attempting to force it out of my thoughts and keep thinking “that would never happen to us”, I rapidly enter the bathroom to rescue my aching bladder from having an explosion.
I wash my hands and reach for the toothbrush and stop. I can’t do it.
The queasiness is turning into a panic. I still haven’t heard a single peep from my daughter.
Screw thinking positive at this point.
I lightly step on our old wooden floor as I approach her room. Two feet from the crib a huge creak issues from the floorboard in unfair protest of my relatively meek girth.
But in the silence it sounds like a gunshot.
I see my daughter’s head bolt up as she stares at me blinkingly. I can’t tell if she was asleep or not. It seems like five halves of eternity as we just look at each other. And then she smiles and starts to giggle as I start to breathe again.
I lift her up and hug her and kiss her all over. Her shriek and laughter fill every fiber of my being with joy. And as I listen to it I know one thing that I have known every day since December 15th 2009: Today is going to be the best day of the rest of my life.
And with that, I get ready for my daily two hour walking/taxi/train/taxi/walk to work at the factory with a smile on my face.
I have spoken to a few parents now that have had to face the ordeal of SIDS and I really respect the courage they have had to carry on.
I have lost other people very close to me and I know what gave me the strength to move on was not forgetting about them, but remembering and truly enjoying the moments we had together.
While I know in my heart that my daughter will have the pleasure of seeing me grow old and senile, I still work to ensure that every day she and I share a remarkable moment together.
Not for her sake particularly, but more for mine.
Part 2 (The Rough One) coming soon.
aka “The Clueless Father”