Fussy Children and Temper Tantrums
To tell u the truth instead of learning from my baby I am getting more scared of the way she is growing up. She became very active and she doesn’t let me do a thing. I have to hold her or be with her in the same room. I’ve heard that too much stimulation spoils them. What do u think?
People keep telling me to leave her to fuss then she will get use to it but I cant.
First off, relax. Take a deep breath. Nothing to be scared about. You’ve never had a kid before so being anxious as things change is natural. Trust me, by the time your baby is a year and a half, you’ll be a pro at all things infant and toddler and ready for another child with full confidence that you can handle anything they throw at you, literally.
But, you have to keep learning as they grow. Don’t accept other people’s conclusions unless they seem like the right one’s FOR YOU and YOUR CHILD.
BABY CRYING, FUSSING, TANTRUMS, ETC…
In terms of baby fussing, you have to start learning the difference between fussing for a reason or just fussing because they see other kids doing the same to get what they want.
You say that you’ve been told a child receiving too much stimulation can spoil them, I think you are trying to say attention or affection.
A child can never receive too much affection and no it won’t spoil them. That’s like saying you could put out a fire by throwing gas on it.
Your daughter being almost 6 months old can’t really do anything by herself. So leaving her alone in her room is kind of like a grown being strapped to a bed with nothing to do. You get pretty upset after a bit as well. To solve this my wife and I got a small baby carrier that we could move around the house that had hanging toys from the top of it so wherever we were in the house the baby could see us but also be amused by the little toys and reach and grab them and stuff like this.
http://www.gracobaby.com/Catalog/Pages/landingPage.aspx?catid=10:10436||1
The Graco Bouncer is the one we bought. That way you can type on the computer, surf the net, clean or just chill out and the baby still has eye contact with you and can amuse herself.
But, as the child gets older you will start to recognize when they are crying because they WANT something (candy or a toy) as opposed to when they NEED something (healthy food, warm blanket).
The first category is called a “temper tantrum” the second category is called a “valid complaint.”
I don’t think your daughter (6 months right?) is old enough to be having tantrums. So you just need to assume it’s a valid complaint at this point. But once she hits about a year to a year and a half…get ready. It’s highly probable that she’ll be rolling on the ground screaming unless you give them what they want.
I never do giver her the object of the tantrum with my daughter. It just teaches them “CRYING = GET WHAT YOU WANT” What I do instead is pick her up and I walk around the house with her and have her touch things or I point things out to her to distract her from whatever it was she was throwing a tantrum over. Usually after a couple minutes she is chilled out and just wants to play.
Works like a charm every single time. I’ll do a video on it next chance I get.
Two very important things to avoid as your child gets older to help with this are:
1. Do not try to over control them. This doesn’t mean let them smash up the house, it means treat them as adults and they will start acting like adults. Don’t force them to sit in your lap if they don’t want to, don’t punish them if they break their OWN things. Meaning make it clear to them that when you give them something it is theirs and they can do what they want with it. This will eventually teach them to take good care of their things. To do otherwise is to make them feel like they never own anything. How do you feel when someone at work tries to overcontrol you. Like you want to punch them right? Who’s to say a kid doesn’t feel the same way. Probably a lot of childhood rebellion stems from that.
2. Don’t stop them from trying to help. Your baby will start trying to help from almost day 1, beginning with just trying to make you smile. Recognize these efforts no matter how clumsy they may be. As they get older, and I am talking 1 year old here, have them help do little things around the house, like bring dry laundry to you, or bring a small written message to dad. My daughter is 1 and a half and brings me my shoes when she sees I’m not wearing them and helps me put them on, she helps mom put away the groceries, she likes to try and fold the laundry, she brings things back and forth between mom and I and lots of other little things. I think this is very healthy. Sure she dropped stuff at first or didn’t put it back in the right place but we just lovingly encouraged her and she blossomed and I am positive she will continue to do so.
Hope that helps!
best,
Dare
dsw@cluelessfather.com
cluelessfather 